we talked for twenty minutes, so why do i feel like i just lost twenty minutes of my life?

July 15, 2010 in MAGAZINE

    Hey guys

    While away on business recently, we decided to go to one of the local business events in the city we were visiting. This event happened to be one of the most recommended events to attend in that city. We figured it would be a great way to meet new people and make some connections. While at this event, we met a gentleman “let’s call him” Tim, who was a local entrepreneur in the area. He was in a specific industry about which he was extremely knowledgeable. And how did we know this? Over the next twenty minutes, he bombarded us with all kinds of information regarding his industry. It was as if he was speaking French, “and we don’t understand French”. After the first 5 minutes we lost concentration.

    Maybe it was my fault; maybe my first question opened up the flood gates for him to school me on an industry that I have no interest in. Not to mention, because he was good at what he did, he came across condescending and arrogant. He told us his company was worth about $4 million. Ladies and Gentlemen, when I tell you this guy was extremely knowledgeable about his industry, trust me. But with his knowledge, why was his company only worth 4 million dollars? It was clear to us that he had the talents and skills that could drive his company to a $10 to $15 million company easily. Then I realized why it worth only $4 million. His communication skills were “POOP” LOL! He spent so much time trying to impress rather than trying to connect with us. We exchanged business cards and went on to meet others in the room. I eventually marked his business card with a red X. I knew I would not want to talk to this gu y again. I felt like I lost 20 minutes of my life. I’m sure Keril felt the same!

    The next person we stopped to talk to was an entrepreneur in the same exact industry as the gentleman earlier. Unlike him, her company was worth about $11 million, and she had this warm and inviting demeanor about her. We had the same conversation as with the prior gentleman but she was very engaging. It was clear that she had the ability to communicate in a way that connected her with people. She was extremely knowledgeable about her industry as the gentleman was before her. But why did we connect with her and not Tim? We exchanged business cards with her and now looking forward to collaborating on different projects in the near future.

    So what’s the difference here? Both individuals were very successful entrepreneurs, but one wasted 20 minutes of our time and the other connected and captured our attention.. The answer here guys is their ability to communicate effectively. We talk to people everyday, but how often do we connect with those people. Successful individuals pride themselves on being able to connect with people. What stops some people from developing that is arrogance. People acquire all sorts of information from school, work and businesses, and they feel compelled to share this knowledge in order to look smart. So, instead of having a conversation where you give a little and receive a little, you dominate the entire conversation. Then you wonder why your business can’t get to the next level; why you always get looked over for that promotion; why you never get the job after you’ve done the interview; etc. It’s not because you don’t know what you doing, it’s because you failed to connect with the interviewer. Anyone can go into an interview and answer a hand full of questions based on the knowledge they acquired from past experiences, but only a select few can own the interview. Not only will they answer all of the questions, but they will leave that interview and the interviewer will feel like he knew that person for a long time. Get that good, and any job you interview for is yours. “No Competition”.

    When it comes to connecting or anything for that matter, take arrogance out of the equation. Arrogance is an ugly thing, I call arrogance the devil’s gift to ugly people. Arrogance can poison an organization, stunt personal growth, and limit connection with others. How many people do you know that have lots of money and are miserable? How many people do you know that are so good at their jobs but no one can stand to be around them? Arrogant people hardly connect with anyone because they don’t feel they need to adapt. Tim’s arrogance and inability to connect cost him $6-$11 million. But his arrogance tried to convince us that he’s happy with $4 million knowing his company could be at $10 to $15 million like the lady we connected with.

    If you are a business owner or someone who works closely with people, arrogance can cost you millions. The key to communication is, use less of your mouth and more of your ears. I know it can get difficult if you feel you know it all, but control those urges and focus on listening. Take some time to reflect on this.

    Till next time, hope to see you all at the pinnacle of your success.

    Keril Sawyerr (301)-343-7878
    Eric Kai-Lewis (240)-425-2834
    web: www.new-billionaires.com
    email: newbillionaires@gmail.com
    www.twitter.com/ newbillionaires.

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